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blood-smiles · 3 months ago

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𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐆𝐄𝐄𝐊!

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐄 𝐄𝐋𝐅 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 MDNI - yandere content . yandere is such a human otaku it’s actually pathetic . general creepy content . DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT.

── .✦ You bit back sobs as you ran through the green forest, calves burning as if fire was licking at your heels. But you couldn’t stop, it would cost you your life.

Bullets zipped past you, impacting against the thick tree bark and leaving deep bullet holes, an angry man shouting behind you.

You dropped the rabbit in your hands long ago, the angry huntsman chasing behind you as if it was the last thing he would do. Only god would know what he would do to you if he caught you.

Your lungs struggled keeping up with the rest of your body as you sprinted away like a wild deer, a bullet implanted deep in your thigh. The adrenaline wouldn’t allow you to feel pain however, as you were focused on survival.

Your brain tingled with warmth, blood clogging up your head. Your body was beginning to lose strength and the pain would begin to tenfold in moments.

Thorns, your barreled into a bush with thorns, you heard the man stop shouting, but the stinging pain in your skin blocked him out completely as you somehow made it through the bush and landed on a patch of pavement.

Pavement? Why would there be pavement in the middle of the forest. You heard the soft gasps of being around you.

You let out a choked sob as your vision began to go black, the last thing you could remember was the patch of blood beneath you and the large warm hands of someone.

��—man…Hu—…an..Human.” Deep.. Why was his voice so deep? So warm and soothing like the hands on your arms.. What? Why are there hands touching you?

You inhaled sharply, snapping your eyes open. Had the hunter caught you? Where were you?

Your vision blurred as you looked around, body too weak to function correctly, your mind screaming at your body to move—To do something, but your limbs stayed glued to the oddly soft and cushioned.

You took in a large inside of a house with wooden walls, curling into the shape of a tree. The insides lined with books on dated anthropology and various human graphs and.. were those human drawings on the walls?

You saw a male above you, too tall to be a human. And.. Were those pointed ears? Body markings?

What kind of fever induced dream was this?

Was this guy some kind of a human enthusiast? This teetered on borderline creepy and obsessive..

You must have made a funny face because the.. human but not so human shaped male let out an amused exhale through his nose.

“It seems that you are awake.” He paused “Now, little human, do not strain too much, your energy reserve is low.” The deep voice spoke again, bringing a hand close to your face and touching one of your cheeks carefully, with his finger making little swirls on your skin.

“You see, I have used a healing spell of elven origin on you. I found you in a state most dire, I must confess— I was by no means certain that my magicks would be efficacious upon your being. Human organisms are scarce in these lands, and your constitution, complex and delicate as it is, had me fearing I might harm thee furt—“

You couldn’t keep up with his rambling, you could tell he was quite intelligent but.. He really was a chatter box.

Your eyes drifted elsewhere, was this an elf..? You had understood that he was definitely not human, based on his physique and strange knowledge.

“How splendid, I have a human in my possession. A remarkable one too. Those beautiful eyes.. I wonder if most humans have those.. I’m going to note—.”

He looked around your age but his way of speaking and his mannerisms seemed more than a little old fashioned.

His clothing was something else too, it was modest on the top half, well, apart from the boob window, but most his torso was covered, but as you drifted lower, there was only a semi transparent loin cloth covering his genitals. His thighs were strong and his skin was dark and smooth, thigh highs reaching the middle of his thighs. You were pretty sure he was barefoot.

You tried blinking, probably looking like a confused turtle. His hair was very long and a pretty shade of pastel green, part of it covering his left eye, in a thick braid that ran all the way down his back and stopped at his tail bone.

His ears were elongated and droopy, pointing downwards, twitching once in a while, alike to the occasional ear twitches of a fawn.

You couldn’t help but reach a hand upwards towards his head, shaky but steady. Your palm wrapped around his ear, gently tugging at the cartilage.

He paused, eyes widening a little at the sudden intrusion of personal space. You felt his ear twitching under your fingers.

“Little human. What.. is thou doing?” He flushed, abnormally large hands hovering over your hand.

“Humans have natural curiosity, will need to write that down..”

You were sure he could snap your wrist as if it was nothing but a toothpick. You were pleasantly surprised to see that he handled you with extreme care and gentleness.

His slightly calloused hands ghosted over your skin as if the slightest breeze would scuff you. As if you were an antique doll and just the smallest touch of a feather would crack your fragile exterior.

“Ah. I comprehend now. You must be inquiring for sustenance, you must be famished.. Humans must have meals in a timely manner, noted.” He acknowledged, gently picking you up out of the bed and holding you on his hip.

He slung his braid over his shoulder as he carefully took you to what seemed like a kitchen. His chest was very full and comfortable, so you just put your face on it.

Your hands absentmindedly played with his soft hair, you wondered to yourself when you even got the confidence to touch a stranger so familiarly when he had kidnapped you.

But.. It wasn’t all that bad, he healed you. Only light scars lingered on your skin, and you were sure they would disappear in no time.

Plus he was very easy on the eyes— AND he was about to feed you! Were you in heaven?

He hummed softly, placing you on the very tall counter (?) made of some wood, the material felt smooth under your skin like a bamboo board.

He steadied you against a wall, keeping a watchful eye on you just in case you would tilt over and fall off the counter.

You were still so drowsy, blinking slowly and trying to keep the sleep out of your eyes. Were you hallucinating? Because you watched in a daze as ingredients floated around the tall human shaped male in a circle.

He raised a hand once in a while, the needed ingredient drifting to his hand. What you assumed to be a cook book levitated in front of him on a page you couldn’t quite see the contents of.

He glanced at you out of his uncovered eye once in a while checking you were okay.

You couldn’t keep your head up anymore, your head bobbed in fatigue. Your hands folding over your stomach as your eyes began to shut.

“Dearest specimen, wake up. Food is ready.” A soft voice and the gentle feeling of a hand smoothing your hair roused you.

You blinked the sleep away, you had regained the control over your limbs.

“Fortunately I scavenged a human cook book in the library, now I have vaster knowledge on your human custom—“

You let out a small scream, to which he jumped at. Staring at you as if you had grown a second head then turning his head to the sides as if looking for some invisible threat.

“W-Who— What are you?” You slightly raised your voice, hands shooting up to grab his wrist to hold it over your head, halting the soft patting of your head.

“Susano, Human researcher.” He smiled a little bit, finding that you needed both your hands to lift his one wrist obscenely cute. he could see your forearms shaking under the weight of his arm.

“I’m an elf, and you a human. Pray tell, what is your name, human?” He tilted his head down at you, letting you get a closer look at his face and the white markings on his face, the small white dots and star like details.

“..(Y/N).” You caved in, hands sweating as you release his wrist. It wouldn’t be that bad telling him your name since he healed you and.. did he save you?

“..Did you pick me up from that.. Bazaar?” He nodded, stirring the warm plate of soup in his hand with a wooden spoon.

“I believe that someone was chasing you, isn’t that right?.. A human male with a strange metal rod with a leather handle?” Wow, you had thought you lost the hunter but it’s seems not.

“He landed in the same spot you had, you needn’t worry your pretty little head, (Y/N).” He paused as he caught a glimpse of your worried expression.

Gently blowing a little of the soup with his mouth to cool it down, he gently guided the spoon towards your lips.

“Say ‘aah~’..” The soup smelled so good, you reluctantly opened your mouth, really.. What had gotten into you! Letting a..an elf feed you? A stranger no less!!

Flavors exploded in your mouth, your eyebrows raising in surprise, tasting the food in your mouth a second before swallowing.

“So good..” you mumbled, wiping the corner of your mouth before Susano could get to it first.

He smiled appreciatively before continuing his explanation as he spoon fed you. “That.. Hunter, threatened us with his.. strange weapon. I believe humans call them ‘guns’. He tried to pry you out of my arms but I fear I may have swatted him in the head too hard.”

You paused eating, staring at the elf with something unnameable.

“Ah! No no. Don’t look at me like that.. I only did it for your well being. Humans like him.. truly repulse me.” He grimaced at nothing, bringing up the spoon towards his lips to polish the bowl off.

You watched as his tongue stuck out and slowly licked your drool off. Was it intended to be so erotic? You flushed at little under his watchful gaze.

“Tell me, how old are you?” He asked, flicking his wrist and sending the bowl away.

“..I’m 22.” You shyly answered, scratching an itch on your shoulder. You had read in an old library book that elf’s could be pretty old, the fact not showing very much on their appearances.

“You must be a growing human then!! Ah, how thrilling! Your bones are to age aren’t they?” What a strange question, you nodded with a strange look on your face.

“You look different from the infant humans in books though.. Do you need breast feeding still? Did you lose your mother? You poor thing.. All lost and on your own..” he cooed, coming closer to you and opening his arms to embrace you in a soul crushing hug.

He grabbed your arms while you were restrained by his biceps, a notebook floating into view with a levitating pen.

what seemed to be a measuring device began flying everywhere and measuring all details about you.

“Hm. How interesting, humans heal at an extremely slow rate. How have you managed to survive this long? Your immune system is naught but absolutely easy to trespass and get you ill.” He noted, your ears registering the soft scribbling of a pen on pages.

“Humans are very intelligent beings but.. still so fragile, I could snap your bones with a squeeze of my hand. Are all of you this small? You barely reach my mid section, truly amusing.” He muttered under his breath

“H-Hold on! I do not need breast feeding! I’m not a child! I’m an adult! A full grown adult with an almost fully developed frontal lobe!” You tried to resist his hug, putting your arms in front of you as if your feeble attempt would stop you from being smothered between his chests.

“Hm? Is that so..? Well, surely you still want to be taken care of don’t you? Even if you are an adult, surely you won’t mind more smothering.. Humans are truly such interesting creatures.” He lifted you into the air as if you were lighter than an underweight kitten.

“I have made my mind.” He lifted you to meet his eyes, which was pretty high up, if you guessed he was somewhere around seven feet.

His expression was serious and ice cold. As if he was a drill sergeant about to reprimand you. His hold was gentle but his eyes said something else.

“I am going to keep you here with me, in the village. From now on you are under my care as a defenseless human, adult or not. I took you in and now you are my responsibility.” He announced proudly, before hugging you as close as possible to him, rubbing his cheek against your own face.

“—And you are going to aid me in my human studies, you are one remarkable specimen and too precious to let prance out in the wild. Goddesses, how did you even survive out there? Do you know how dangerous elven forests are?”

You tried grabbing at the long green braid of hair to make him peel himself from you, the body warmth was all consuming and becoming unbearable.

You tried to pull at his hair but he didn’t budge, only smiling and ‘aww’ing at your attempt to make space.

“We shall have a most wonderful time together. ♥”

#yandere x reader #smilesyanderes #yandere #male yandere #male yandere x reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader #fem reader #yandere male #Susanoposting #HE IS VERY MUCH INSPIRED BY SO MANY YANDERE SOURCES #MEO EIRU PLEASE NOTICE ME #I love him.. Suzy #yandere tendencies #soft yandere #yandere x darling #yanderecore #yandere blog

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liberalsarecool · 4 months ago

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And that ladies and gentlemen is coming from a multiple-time bankrupted failed business con man.

First Felon's base has no knowledge of how tariffs actually work and think he is going to lower the cost of goods they need to survive.

MAGA are pathetic and unserious.

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justcuriouspolls · 5 months ago

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*Just you/the person answering this poll, not the entirety of humanity

Health bar: Shows how much “hp” you have, compared to you at maximum health. Lower hp=closer to death. Has a list of temporary ailments (diseases, injuries etc) affecting you, how much damage they deal, and how long it lasts before going away. If you have a chronic condition that affects your health/will stay with you most/all of your life, max hp (compared to current hp) is reduced. Also shows a stamina bar as well

Quest menu: Guides you on how to do things, from lifechanging achievements to everyday activities. Detailed step-by-step instructions, accurately prioritized, and a “hint menu” in case you get stuck

Checkpoint: From here on out, you can set one “point” (a specific date, time, and location- you must be at that point when you set it) that you revert to when you die, retaining the exact state you were at but with the addition of knowledge that you have at time of death. Once you set the

point you cannot change it, and you must revert there when you die. An extra life, essentially

Inventory Slots: You can store items (you must be able to physically hold them/carry them with ease) in a pocket dimension, and take them out/put them back at any time. Space is limited but is based on diversity of items vs number of items. Carrying bags, purses etc increase how many inventory slots you have

Damage Resistance: A single strike from a sword won’t kill you, tripping and falling won’t send you to a hospital, what would instantly kill the average person would typically just be an inconvenience to you. (You are not immortal, you just now have Video Game Logic ™ applied)

Rapid cooking/eating: You need a method of cooking and the required ingredients, but for some foods you can cook them instantly (it is still perfectly cooked and safe to eat) and you can instantly eat things (you can’t sense the texture/flavor, you still get nutritional benefits/detriments, foods eaten in this manner cannot harm you from overeating (but you are still restricted from eating further/you have a sense of fullness))

Skip Cutscene: If you have had the same conversation multiple times, or have a task that you do repetitively, you can skip it once a day

Fast Travel: In addition to the location where you wake up (if your sleep schedule is irregular, the location where you are at during midnight), you can select three other locations to teleport to. You can teleport three times a day. You can move around your teleport markers, but you have to physically go there to access them/move them

Double Jump: Self explanatory, you can jump twice, with slightly less height but half the stamina used as your regular jumping ability, and timing your second jump properly can significantly reduce the damage taken from high falls

#polls about video games #video game mechanics #tumblr polls #polls #my polls #death cw #i worked very hard on this poll if you have any questions feel free to ask them in the comments #reblog for sample size (if you want to)

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ms-demeanor · 1 month ago

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It seemed like your job was getting better there for a minute under new management. Is it new management that's fucking up now, not "fixable", or is it holdovers from the old guy?

So my company, formerly owned by Gary, was "Strangled Bats LLC". The company that bought us is "BunnyCorp Inc." Late last year, BunnyCorp Inc hired "Bruno" as our new CEO. The middle management are Bunnies from BunnyCorp.

Gary was a shithead who abused his employees but he was a stickler for documentation, standards, and naming conventions. Even though we lost a lot of documentation when BunnyCorp let Strangled Bats' CRM subscription lapse, I was able to save a bunch of PDFs and we actually still have printed copies of a BUNCH of our documents. Strangled Bats LLC was a terrible place to work and was very old-fashioned on some things, but we save our papers.

BunnyCorp Inc has a lot of very friendly bunnies in management who are cuddly and cute and easy to get along with and wouldn't know a configuration manager if it bit them in the ass. BunnyCorp was interested in acquiring and absorbing many companies to become one big company and cared more about purchasing companies (and therefore their client bases) than it cared about integrating those companies into itself OR than it cared about making notes on its customers.

Bruno has a long history of working in MegaBigCo and making things very efficient. When Bruno was hired as CEO, BunnyCorp officers did a great job of putting a good face forward and making it look like they had their shit together. By the time Bruno started, I had been working at BunnyCorp for three months and had mostly been focused on trying to get Strangled Bats' systems to mesh with BunnyCorp.

In January, Bruno had been with the company long enough that he started making changes to make things more efficient, because he'd been there long enough to see that there were some problems. At that point, I had started to notice that it seemed like we were duplicating an awful lot of work that was no longer related to issues with un-meshed systems, because I had meshed a lot of our systems. I got promoted and started training someone to take over the simpler parts of my job and was given the responsibility of looking into a lot of our contracts and agreements.

In March, the shit hit the fan and Bruno and I simultaneously realized that BunnyCorp Inc had been papering over a vast chasm of problems, most of which had to do with:

people with institutional knowledge leaving because they were underpaid

previous owners being shit at documentation

nobody except LITERALLY FUCKING ME knowing what modern server hardware standards and pricing should be

solutions for clients that were built with an eye toward reducing cost in the moment rather than planning for growth or longevity

Bruno has good thoughts about improving stuff, thoughts that I support and think are a great idea and think we should try to implement, but he's also a MegaBigCo kind of guy and likes to let employees grind to prove that they're dedicated and worthy of a promotion/raise - this is a shitty attitude that I think is counterproductive and I think is on the verge of leading our entire senior staff into burnout, but he's not at all wrong about the changes that need to be made. Bruno found out that a bunch of our clients don't have spare server drives onsite and shit a brick because of how badly he wants us to get spare server drive to the client sites; he is willing to eat the cost if it means we can get spares to the clients. That's great, it's not wrong, and there aren't enough hours in the day for me to get that done and also do procurement.

Bruno is only just now seeing the tip of the iceberg in terms of how utterly fucked our documentation is; if Bruno is the captain of the ship telling us where to steer, I'm the lookout on deck who sees the icebergs before anybody else.

I have been shouting to the Bunny management about icebergs since December and the ship hasn't changed course; Bruno has directed us to put more coal in the boilers and speed up and to patch up some holes and scrape some barnacles off the hull, but I can't shout loud enough to get the Bunnies to pass on the message about the iceberg, so all I can do is make notes about where the iceberg is an when we hit it provide the notes that I took that the Bunnies ignored so that maybe we can start patching up the breaks before water floods in and kills us all.

Things were great for a while because I was no longer working with an actively abusive shithead. Working with Gary was like sighting icebergs on the deck of a ship that leaked a bit and avoided icebergs deftly, but I was left to freeze on the deck all the time because freezing on the deck was all I was good for. Getting acquired by BunnyCorp was like someone handing me a warm coat and telling me to go inside and have a cup of tea and sit by the fire. But then I realized that the niceness and the okayness with taking time off and the slight raise were very comforting but someone still had to go out on deck and watch for icebergs but now nobody is passing on the message that we need to steer away from the fucking icebergs because if you say there's an iceberg that might make someone feel bad and making people feel bad is counter to the BunnyCorp company culture.

I have a constant drumbeat in my head that says "I can fix this, I can fix this, I can fix this." If I work late and go get the info for all the firewalls that I can access, and share info with the team about the ones I can't access, I can update the documentation and fix this. If I get notes on all the servers, and get spares for every machine, and get the techs scheduled to go out and install, I can fix this. If I can go in to the configurations for all five thousand computers and manually check and archive all the old devices, and manually update a field for every one of the two thousand windows 10 machines, maybe our team of sixteen can replace twelve hundred and upgrade eight hundred computers at our two hundred client sites in the next five months. If only I can go through all of those two thousand configurations and update that field before I get dragged away to another phone call from a client or another meeting about how the next acquisition is going to go, so I better do it now, at eight pm at ten pm at midnight at two am when there's nobody to call and no meetings scheduled. If I could just *lock in* I can save us, I can make sure the clients are getting a good turnaround time on their requests and I can make sure the licenses are all getting renewed because I updated all the configurations and I will update all the configurations going forward and I will document this company at knifepoint and I will hold it together with duct tape and spite and I will make it work i will make it work nobody else is doing anything I have to make it work because that's an iceberg, I know some of them see the iceberg, and they're Bunnies and I'm a Bat, some of them have seen this iceberg long before I could see it but they're not turning but if I yell about it and make notes about it and lock in and document it and skip lunch and skip lunch and skip lunch and skip lunch and skip lunch and take half a break so that I can get another device off the list maybe THEN they'll act like there's an iceberg ahead and they'll turn and I won't have to fly off the deck and go find another ship and I can stay on the boat with my friends and the nice bunnies and it will be okay, it will feel like it did after Gary was gone and I could BREATHE and people said that I was smart and good at my job and I deserved more money and I had been treated badly and there were no icebergs because it was so bright and sunny and nice that the whole sea looked like dazzling snow and seemed soft and safe and like I wouldn't have to keep freezing on the deck to stay alive.

So.

You know.

There have been ups and downs. I'm having some trouble staying motivated and even with some decent management it's difficult to orient the team toward the metrics we need to meet in q3 to stay solvent and keep our forward momentum up.

I'm considering sniping our customers and starting my own business, nobody makes the office admin sign a non-compete.

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kujiba · 9 months ago

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【Mew Mew Bitch】

୨୧ — ꒰ Cat!reader | they/them prounouns | Sagau | cultish behavior

reader who gets transported into teyvat.. As a half cat human

Mondstadt / Liyue / Inazuma / Sumeru / Fontaine / Natlan / Snezhnaya

After your (not so) calm trip in mondstat, you decided it was finally time to stealthy leave the city in order to experience the full time adventure!

Seeing that you were free, Aether then took the chance and offered you to assist him and paimon in their later journeys around teyvat.

Having the creator of the world be their travel companion almost made paimon completely faint from shock! But to you it felt like a silly little adventure, so you agreed.

The next stop being the nation of contracts, Liyue.

Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing; Ningguang had heard about your coming arrival and instantly issued the most luxurious and attractive looking gifts that fitted just for you, she could care less about the price, No matter what the costs it will be done without hesitation for her God.

Despite all the effort, it definitely left ningguang dumbfounded to watch you ignore the jewelry that she had brought which would reach over 100,000,00 mora.. For a life size cat stand that a worker gave as a small token.

Of course their god would prefer something like this, their body is legitimately a human with cat ears and a tail.

Scratch all the previous plans, they're going to have to make a different approach now in order to get your affection.

Ganyu, a adepti working under ningguang felt curious about your cat like traits, specifically your cat ears. Was it like hers but just more furry and soft? Are people allowed to touch them? She needs to know it all.

And so an idea popped inside her head.

Using very simple knowledge, Ganyu and Shenhe would then begin to often fish at Mt.Aozang in the very morning to seize as many fish as possible as a treat for you, this often turned into a competition in who would gather the most fish for their god.

One thing that's certain is that your love at resting in tall heights never fades, the Millelith would get an ocean of reports with countless of witnesses saying that they had seen their creator resting at the roof of wangshu inn making Xiao work overtime to catch you when you accidentally slip off the edge.

Other times would be that xiangling would have to guard you while you joined her in catching ingredients for her next dish. One moment you're eating raw fish straight from the river, the next you're getting kidnapped by some random hilichurls that spotted you from a distance.

The amount of times that you nearly encountered death was enough for hu tao herself to come and approach you, advertising her business to you with a 10% discount for first time customers. She then got scolded for trying to do such blunt move on their creator

Qiqi likes to follow you around, asking if she could touch your ears or tail out of pure confusion, she just decided that you were similar to ganyu and then asked for cocogoat milk. Once you feel something tug the base of your tail you already know who's doing it.

Zhongli has his fair share with animal type companions, so it didn't really bother him much whether you're a cat or human, you're his divine creator! What DOES bother him is that whenever in the open world, you would jump on the rock pillars he would summon WHILE there is an on going fight with an enemy

99 percent of the time you'd just fall off the rock pillar but thankfully land on your two feet like always. However, Zhongli was ready to drop everything he had on him to come and catch you in less than a second

Let's not talk about the mountains.

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stevieschrodinger · 2 years ago

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Part One of Rock Star Eddie and Baker Steve wrong number AU

Link to Part Two

Eddie's got dubious history with picture messages. Only a very small group of people have his number, considering he's the front man of a multimillion best selling metal band, he doesn't ever want his number to be public knowledge.

So yeah, picture message from and unknown number? Dubious.

Eddie's had enough dick and...vag...pics in his time that he, honestly, doesn't really want another. But when the picture is followed by a message, "were you thinking something like this?"

Well, Eddie's a curious guy. So, committing himself to the idea that this might be new number time, again, he opens the message.

To be confronted with a cake. A really fucking cool cake actually, it's got a car dashing around a muddy track on top with a big '5' in the middle. All of it looks edible, made out of...cake stuff. Eddie has no idea what it is, but it looks delicious.

"One layer chocolate, one layer red velvet? I can do any combination of flavours you want."

Well. Eddie isn't anything but impulsive and he was trying to figure out what the fuck to do for the 'quiet' celebration they were planning for going platinum. Again.

"I think you have the wrong number'" Eddie types, "but I definitely want to order a cake from you."

"Oh my god I'm so sorry, unsolicited cake pics are the worst 😉"

And Eddie can't help it, he laughs, and types back, "if I told you I wanted three tiers of the darkest, spookiest, cherry chocolate what would you come up with?"

It takes a couple of minutes, but Eddie's phone pings twice in quick succession, the first picture is of a spooky orange cake clearly Halloween themed, covered in ghosts and skeletons and stuff. The second is jet black and has a coffin on top that looks like it's leaking green corrosive stuff and Eddie nearly throws his phone in excitement. "That! The second one!"

"🤣 that's an old pic, I was just starting out then, but everything is edible, the green slime is made out of jello"

"Where are you based and can you make it for the 15th? I'll get a courier to collect."

"Sure thing, how many portions? And I need a deposit up front. I'll do chocolate ganache and cherry filling."

"Errr...like, 150? Maybe?"

Eddie sits and watches as the dots appear and disappear, appear and disappear, and then there's a pic.

It's a selfie of the most beautiful man he's ever seen. And he's standing in a kitchen, holding a cake pan. Suddenly Eddie's phone is ringing in his hand and he is panicking because beautiful man is calling him. "Hello?"

"Hey, man, it's Steve, the cake guy?". Eddie assumes he makes an affirmative noise because Steve keeps talking, "anyway, that cake pan I'm holding is literally the largest one I own, even if I did three tiers, no way will it cater that many, I'm a small business, you know, it's just me. I can recommend you some companies I know would do a great job."

But then, Eddie will never get to talk to beautiful man ever again, "what if you made like, three cakes?". He asks desperately.

There's a long beat of silence on the phone, "I mean, in theory, I mean, it might cost you more than-"

"I'll pay it. I'll pay double, for, inconvenience, or whatever-"

And oh no, beautiful man has the most beautiful laugh too. Eddie's fucked. He's so fucked.

"I'll raise you, two cakes and fifty muffins?" Steve laughs again, and Eddie laughs right along with him.

Steve grabs his phone when it pings, hoping for Eddie. It is Eddie. It's a selfie from the neck down, like always, Steve still doesn't know what the guy looks like, but Eddie's wearing a deep red shirt that he's clearly just dumped a whole cup of coffee down, "hope your days going better than mine, sweetheart,"

Steve sends back a selfie with a lump of uncooperative modelling fondant in the background, "that depends, can you tell what this is supposed to be?"

Steve's pretty sure it's wierd to talk to a customer every day, but he's started to find he's looking forward to Eddie's messages. Even when they turn flirty. Especially when they turn flirty, maybe.

And maybe it's not exactly professional that Steve's found a lot of reasons to call Eddie. He just, needs to get this right, and if Eddie wants chocolate covered cherries on the cupcakes, well, Steve needs to call him and check, right? Right.

Steve heads out into the lounge with flour on his nose and a mixing bowl under his arm, Dustin, Lucas and Max are sprawled on the couch, El lying on the floor. He can hear Mike and Will fucking around outside. He spoons up some cherry mixture, "hey will you try-"

"Shhhhhhhh!"

Well. Rude. Steve looks to the interview they're watching on the TV. It's some metal band Steve vaguely recognises, and when the lead guy speaks...Steve has to sit down. Because that sounds a lot like-

"So, Eddie," the show host guy starts, and Steve's knees would go weak of he wasn't already sitting down. He's certain his stomach has left the building. "Seeing anyone?"

Eddie laughs, says no, but the band mate next to him makes a show of nudging Eddie and sharing a look.

The host picks up on it immediately, "so there is someone," Eddie's still shaking his head, but he's got a shy smile on his face that makes Steve feel like he's melting. "Come on Eddie, give us something."

"It's not a thing," Eddie flaps his hands, "don't make it a thing."

"Oh it's a thing alright," the audience laugh, "come on, give us something!"

Eddie looks uncomfortable for a second before shrugging, "they, uhm, they make the most amazing cakes you've ever seen."

#eddie munson #stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #baking #baker steve Harrington #rock star eddie munson #wrong number au #fan fic author #my fic writing #fan fic stuff #fan fiction

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carminejade · 2 months ago

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I Want to Hold Your Hand

When you moved into your new Hab, you hadn't expected things to be anything but normal. You minded your own business, you were polite to the florets and their towering plant based owners, and you maintained a robust lifestyle to avoid the risk of Wellness Checks. Life was good!

“Nyaaah! Moooore more please more!”

Maybe not when your neighbors were screaming like that. You had nothing against the affini and her floret, but she also encouraged her floret to be super loud whenever they got like this. You weren't sure what they got up to, it wasn't your business, but to your knowledge you were the only one bugged by it. Normally, you'd just tune it out with loud music or go for a walk, but it wasn't exactly the best day for it. It was a delightful rainy day, perfect for compiling a coffee and a good book, and reading by the window. You didn't want loud music, and certainly didn't want to walk in the rain.��

“Aaahn! Y- Yessssshhhh! Fuuuuuuck!”

Taking a breath, you decided enough was enough. You would be polite but firm! Setting your new book aside, you made your way to the door in your slippers and cozy clothes. The hallway connecting all of the hab units looked like something out of the kind of hotels that cost several million to stay at for a single night. The carpet was so soft and whispery under your slippers as you went to the hab right beside yours. The door was the right size for an affini, so you tapped the doorbell and waited politely. The pleasured wailing of the floret immediately stopped, and you couldn't help but feel just a little worried about why it was so quiet. The door slid open abruptly, startling you out of your thoughts.

The floret, a girlish little thing swayed with a dopey smile. Faer body was covered in different colored dusts and liquids. The floret’s eyes briefly focused on you. “Oh heeeyyyyyaaaah~” A trio of vines were working behind faer, rubbing patterns into faer back with serpentlike motions. “H- Heeeeiiii Hiiiii ne- neighborrr~” Fae was drooling, both from faer mouth and the tiny pink cage poking out of faer bikini.

You greet the self-identified toy, and start to mention the noise levels. “Oh yeah! Hehe yeeeah~ Mistress just loves making me make all sorts of funny sounds~” You can’t help but let out a sigh of exhaustion as the floret starts to moan again from the vines.

“We’re so sorry about disturbing you, petal.” The affini is in the door now, towering behind her floret as her vines do… something to faer from behind. “I simply adore playing with my toy, and letting everyone hear fae as I play faer like an instrument is one of my greatest joys. Dear little thing? Please apologize to them for not thinking of their noise preferences.”

You try to dissuade her, telling her you just wanted to lower the noise level a bit to enjoy your rainy day. Her floret has none of it as fae grabs onto your hand. “I… I’m uh… I’m shuper shorie neighbor… w- wun… wunt happ again…” You freeze, the sensation being… new.

The skin was smooth, contouring against your palm like gel. Faer thumb gently traced the arching profile of yours, adjusting the grip ever so gently. There was an almost kneading sensation as fae flexed faer palm ever so imperceptibly. The handshake dissolved rapidly as fae gave you another dreamy smile, gently running faer fingers onto your palm without separating your hands. Electric currents ran through your palm, every nerve ending lighting up at the delicate feathery touch across your hand. Time felt… stiff as fae maintained contact while slowly maneuvered so your hands were now pressed palm to palm. You couldn’t look away from those half-lidded eyes as fae slid faer hand down.

A wave of sensation ran down your arm as fae undoubtedly smeared whatever fae were covered in along your hand. And yet… you couldn’t care. Fae ran those velvety fingertips down your palm, shivers permeating and stopping almost sinfully early halfway down your palm. Those fingers slid and you felt faer drag perfectly manicured nails up your palm at an agonizingly slow pace. The ball of faer hand brushed yours ever so gently, the barest bump of an impact against yours. Your fingertips dragged down faer smooth, flawless fingers. Those delicate, soft porcelain digits slowly curved downwards as they passed above your fingertips. The delicate pads pressed down on your nails to pin your hand in place.

“You’re… sorta cute…” Fae giggled at you, faer hand sliding down to lock fingers with you. Their skin was so smooth and gentle on yours, tingling waves of pleasure firing through your synapses as fae traced little spirals between your knuckles. That delicate thumb rubbed small circles on the bridge between your thumb and index while keeping your gaze on faer. A small tug on your wrist, and vines were gently tipping your chin upwards. Smaller vines slowly ensnared your wrist and rubbed more electric tingles into your arms. Flowers traced the barely there veins on your arm as the affini gently led you in.

“Come on in, petal. You can see if we’re being quiet enough for you, alright?” You nod gently as the door closes behind you, the floret never easing faer grip on your hand. That beautiful, perfectly sculpted hand.

#human domestication guide #hand holding #unprotected hand holding #madness writing

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lampridius · 13 days ago

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Good day/ afternoon/evening to you! Since the request is open.. how would Aventurine, Dan heng, Sunday, and phainon react to their partner being 'strong minded' but as soon it's behind doors, they will cry in their arms after a long day? Their partner is quite affectionate and yearns for them for sure. I would like to see that especially most of them aren't much of emotional type based on my knowledge about them so this would be interesting! I hope this isn't a hard request and thank you!

⋆.ೃ࿔🌸*:･ 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘬𝘢𝘪: ꒱ 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳 𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘭 ✴ ───────── ❝ 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 "𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙" ❞ －𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘶𝘴 ．．• ♡︎

─ .✦ 𝗯𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿𝘀: aventurine, dan heng, sunday, phainon ─ .✦ 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁: @mauserre, @tremendoustragedybard ──── .✦ 𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘦𝘴 | 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵 | 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 ──── .✦ 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨:

he doesn’t say anything the first time it happens. just opens his arms with a soft, smug smile and lets you fold yourself into him. he strokes your back gently, listens to the tiny tremble in your breath, and holds you like he's been expecting this for a while. “you really keep it together out there,” he’ll say lowly, brushing your hair back. “but i like this side of you too.” you think he might tease you about crying, but he never does. instead, he makes sure your favorite drink is nearby, your legs tucked into his lap, the room comfortably warm. aventurine loves how much you lean on him - it makes him feel like the luckiest man alive. “you don’t have to be strong with me, sweetheart,” he murmurs against your temple. “just be.”

he notices your exhaustion before you speak a word. his touch is subtle but certain - taking your bag, gently guiding you to the bed, kneeling in front of you as your walls finally crumble. he doesn’t ask questions; he just lets you cry into his shoulder, grounding you with a steady hand against your spine. dan heng isn’t big on words, but he’s constant. calm. quietly present. he makes space for your vulnerability without judgement or pity. and when your tears fade into sniffles, he’ll lift your chin with a soft, rare smile. “you carry so much,” he whispers. “but you don’t have to do it alone.”

he’s gentle in the way he catches you. like you’re a delicate miracle unraveling in his arms, and he’s honoured to hold you. he’ll close the door behind you with a soft click, sensing the shift before you even speak. his voice is low, smooth, like honey poured into tea: “tough day?” you nod, and the second your face folds, he has you wrapped in his coat, holding you like the world outside doesn’t exist. sunday knows the cost of keeping a strong face. he knows the loneliness behind it. “it’s alright to fall apart with me,” he breathes into your hair, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “i’ll always catch you.”

phainon’s heart clenches every time he sees the shift - how your shoulders drop the second you're alone, how your voice breaks when you finally let go. he’s patient, always patient. he holds you wordlessly, pressing soft kisses to your head, his fingers stroking along your back. “you really fooled them all today,” he murmurs, trying to make you smile. but his gaze is serious - warm, unwavering. he adores your fire, your strength, but this rawness? this softness? he cherishes it. “you don’t have to pretend here,” he says, guiding your hand to his heart. “i know who you are. and i love all of it.”

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noneedtoheedtheweed · 2 months ago

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Decided to take a break from agonizing over Alya to draw some of the other characters <3

Our main villain is Gabriel, wielder of the Spider Miraculous.

Instead of being the villain we all know, The Weaver is the leader of a secret society in Paris consisting of only the most powerful, influential, and knowledgeable people in all the city. While he initially seems frail and caring, like a somber, loving grandparent, he is a monster who will do anything to achieve his goals.

As the wielder of the miraculous of emotion, he is able to sense the emotions of others and empower them with his own grief and pain. He spins his blood, breath, and tears into the thread he uses to enhance his chosen, although this comes at the cost of his physical health.

When we see him in the show, he is always seated and with an iv in his arm. This man is wasting away but cannot die until he brings the love of his life back from the cold embrace of death.

On the opposite side of the character spectrum is Marinette. While she was originally the wielder of the Songbird Miraculous, she gave it up for her own mental health.

The thing about the songbird is that it gives the wielder visions regardless of whether or not they're transformed.

Combined with the stress of school, her budding fashion career, being class president, working in her parents' bakery, and attempting to have a social life, the visions manifested as paranoia. After only a month or two of being a superhero, she had to give it up despite its incredible and incredibly useful power.

After she recovers and regains some normalcy, she serves as an anchor for the heroes and a home base for them, letting them use her Grandma's apartment as a home base as she will frequently house sit for her while she's away (which is most of the time).

Marinette helps the heroes design their suits and even makes some of her own, sliding into an Edna Mode kind of role later down the line.

Sometime towards the midpoint of the story, she actually ends up working for Gabriel as a personal assistant/ intern without knowing he's The Weaver. She would be the one to discover Gabriel and Lila's connection through this after she discovers that he's the villain.

#Ferns miraculous au #Next time: A 2nd au <3 #miraculous ladybug #mlb fandom #mlb au #miraculous au #mlb marinette #marinette dupain cheng #mlb gabriel #hawkmoth #gabriel agreste #is this technically a butterfly marinette?

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h0estar · 7 days ago

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What are some traits/characteristics of Jinshi, that makes the relationship with him and maomao healthy— in a realistic sense?

where do i even begin :')

i'll try to make this solely about jinshi as much as i can (my interpretation of his character, at least), so here goes:

he puts others above himself. jinshi's #1 character trait is going above and beyond for people. it doesn't matter if they're doing him wrong or hate him; if he can find some way to help others, even at his own cost, he will. now, i know this isn't exactly healthy, but this guy is a people pleaser to his core </3

he listens. many times in the novels, we're shown how jinshi personally visits villages or people directly affected by taxes, laws, or whatever political movement the capital imposes, to gauge the people's reactions. he takes note and does what he can to help them.

he's wise and intelligent. takes one to know one. that's literally how he met maomao. to do his best work, he consults the opinions of those more knowledgeable than him (he's wise not to let something stupid like pride get in the way of his work). he takes their words to heart and takes them into consideration. oftentimes, he doesn't pursue a decision unless he's absolutely sure he's on the same page with trusted people.

he is kind and compassionate. he's been through shit since he was a child, but we don't see a vengeful streak once. this guy is so incredibly forgiving that he's willing to overlook any attempts made on his life (both sexual and murderous). this trait also drives him to help people without asking for anything in return. it's why he helped lady fuyou be reunited with her lover and why, despite his status, he wrote 200 letters begging regional leaders and political big-shots to help the western capital. and most especially, it's why shisui/loulan, suirei, and the shi clan children are still alive.

he is patient and resilient. again, people have been doing him wrong his entire life, but he still puts up with them (e.g., lakan & gyokou). he has a bad day almost every day and is stressed 24/7, but he tolerates it (despite complaining). still, he doesn't give up.

he has a strong work ethic. guy is a workaholic. if he's committed to doing something, he'll do it full-force, to the best of his abilities, and see it through till the end.

he is logical. he doesn't let his emotions dictate all his actions. if he could go about things his way, he would. instead, he uses critical thinking skills: he analyzes different perspectives, breaks elements down, and considers how his decisions will affect certain people. after all his thinking, he comes up with logical conclusions on which to base his decisions.

okay, so combine all these traits together, and we see how it makes his relationship with maomao healthy:

he prioritizes maomao above all else. everything he does, he takes her into consideration. when he makes decisions, he always has her safety in mind. he does this solely because he cares for her and doesn't want to put her in harm's way. he protects her, ensures her needs are met before his, and goes to great lengths to keep her from getting hurt, both physically and emotionally.

he listens and respects her boundaries. maomao is complicated. she has a skewed sense of value, self-worth, love, and all things emotional. she's also uncomfortable with grand gestures of affection, yet that doesn't stop him from pursuing her. and he does so in a way that is convenient for her, even if he has to take so much shit in the process.

he is supportive of her dreams and ambitions. though he views their status difference as an obstacle, he wields it for her benefit (he even created a new position just so maomao could practice medicine and opened up opportunities for her to become a surgeon.). he doesn't find her obsessions weird; instead, he sees value in their potential and actively encourages her to hone her skills. he also respects her expertise and doesn't command others to acknowledge it. he lets her competence speak for her as he stands from the sidelines, watching her shine.

he's incredibly patient with her. do i even need to expound? with all his princely authority, he could easily command maomao to reciprocate his feelings. but because he loves her so much, he doesn't. he sees her as someone he wants to be on equal footing with. however, because maomao is a different breed, he works for her affection and remains patient despite her constant avoidance. thus, the push-and-pull continues for 12 volumes. he's careful not to push her buttons too much and quickly observes how she reciprocates his advances.

he values her intelligence and trusts her. he never mansplains or acts like he knows more than her. he holds her words with heavy weight and consults her with things he finds difficult. even for stuff he's already figured out, he still seeks out her opinion because what she says and does matters to him.

he's loyal to her!!!! my guy is committed! he's thrown himself into this path ever since maomao said he'd always be jinshi to her, and he hasn't looked back or away since. he's determined to win her heart no matter how long it takes, and he will see it to the end.

i could go on and on and on about how self-sacrificial and beautiful jinshi's love for maomao is. the average guy would've given up on her, but he has the wits and intelligence to match her pace. he's likely noticed how maomao treats him differently from the rest and picked up on her kindness and compassion. he held on to that and kept faith, giving maomao the time needed to sort out her emotions and feelings, hoping his efforts would be rewarded someday.

now, i'm not saying jinshi is perfect. in fact, some of his character traits can be viewed as flaws. but when you really think about it, jinshi is a PRINCE living in a patriarchal society where women had little to no rights. yet he's doing all this FOR MAOMAO, a woman and a 'common apothecary.' despite his nobility, he's intentionally making his life difficult in his pursuit of her, yet he doesn't give a rat's ass. he wants her with every fiber of his being, and he wants her to want him too. but he's doing that on her terms.

however, jinshi's traits alone aren't what make their relationship healthy. jinshi loves maomao, but maomao values jinshi just as much. she cares for him, notices even the smallest things about him, observes him and his moods, supports him in any way she can, gets mad on his behalf, and gets worried and frustrated when he hurts himself for her or others, she feels comfortable when he's being his true self, and above all, she feels safe around him. there are so many more examples, and it's hidden in plain sight in the novels; you really just have to read between the lines.

maomao and jinshi are just humans, navigating feelings and personal relationships for the first time. it's an absolute delight to witness their growth and how far they've come, positively impacting each other despite their personalities. now that they're technically dating as of LN 12, they still have a long way to go, especially with communication and maneuvering this unfamiliar territory together. their love is so wholesome, strong, beautiful, and genuinely healthy. they truly bring out the best in each other, and you just can't help but root for these two freaks.

#is this a jinshi glaze post? yes. yes it is.#i love him an extremely normal amount #the way he loves her breaks my heart it's so beautiful and genuine and it makes me cry #ask #thanks for the ask <3 #the apothecary diaries #kusuriya no hitorigoto #maomao #jinshi #jinshi x maomao #jinmao #knh thoughts

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